In the midst of Halloween spirit...

I have watched countless 'spooky' movies in the past few days, namingly; The Faculty, Halloween II, The Children, Saw V, Frozen and The Haunting in Connecticut.
( thank you sky player.)

The Faculty presents a film embodying all the teen film actors of the 90s in one; Josh Hartnett, Usher Raymond, Elijah wood, and that bitch girl from She's All That who tells Laney Boggs she should kill herself who later gets her comeuppance by getting her face painted as a clown while she is passed out in the toilets at a party. In short, the 'Faculty' of the high school are all aliens and plan to victimise all their students in to becoming aliens too. With scaly skin and reproductive bug things which need a medium to survive in, this film is pretty dire, however in the category of ' I want to watch this film because it's so bad it's funny.' So yeah, watch it.

Halloween II reunites us with our favourite masked killer Michael Myers. Once you get past the acceptance stage that this film is not about a comedy actor gone a bit nuts, it is still perplexing. I did not watch this film in order to experience the void and be left questioning Jean-Jaques Rousseau's political theories, and it satisfied my gory needs. The storyline tells us of a a killer's quest for a reunion with his sister, who apparently killed him the first time, however he remains alive and well. There's some kind of symbolism in this film with a white horse, meaning purity however in dreams it resembles psychosis or something. All in all, with a view to see lots of blood and gore and ridiculous deaths, I was left content.

The Children left me with a hatred for kids of all ages and a phobia of mittens and other woollen goods. This 2008 British horror film starring some bird you may recognise from Hollyoaks and the Inbetweeners or may be confused and be thinking of her sister who is Dawn from Eastenders, Hannah Tointon. The film starts out as seeing a moody teenager being pissed that she's in the countryside for Christmas, glued to her mobile phone only to find she has no reception in this place. Scary as this thought may be to many adolescent young girls and boys, this really holds no relevance to the fact that it has been placed in the Horror genre. The little children all start to become very ill, moments after a passing comment from one mother to another about MMR jabs. Lots of coughing up blood and throwing up later, the torment begins. The horrors that unveil include a full-grown man going head first on a sledge down a hill only to be impaled by a suspiciously placed rake at the bottom, a stabbing in the eye with a pencil  and a child-like surgical attachment of a doll to a corpse. I feel like this film was 84 minutes too long just to play part as a warning against MMR, but whatever it was freaky.

How many are there? I have no idea. Saw V is no longer a mind-fuck trip run by the old-man Jigsaw, but now a mind fuck trip run by an accomplice named Hoffman. I never really watch the Saw films to follow the story-line, but to see what sick deathly traps Patrick Melton has come up with this time. A few crushed hands, a non-stop pendulum slicer, a decapitator, a tracheotomy with a pen, and a few nail bombs later, I felt pretty much the same way that I have felt every other Saw film - "it was alright really, that bit with his hand was sick though." There was definitely some kind of story line that I just wasn't following, but with all these films I have written about so far, my intellectual capacity was not really switched on. 

The Haunting in Conneticut is "Based on a true story"... I'd like to know what part of it is true. The story is centred around a cancer patient who forces his family to move to Conneticut as the hospital is just that little bit too far away. The house they move to is, surprise surprise, a funeral home in which the mortuary is still in the basment. Lots of freaky shit starts to happen through the eyes of the cancer patient who is said to have only been hallucinating due to the treatment. After some research in to how much truth their is to this film, it being 'based on a true story', I discovered that there was once a family in the 80s who moved to a house in Conneticut and apparently some freaky shit went down there too as it was also an old funeral home. Even after discovering some element of truth that may ave bought the film to life a bit more, I still found it painfully bad however entertaining some respects, especially when they find a box of eyelids.  

With a claim like 'does to skiing what Jaws did to swimming', I was excited to see Frozen as I was vaguely put off by swimming after seeing shark attack after shark attack. However, this film was much less enthusiastic both in content and in horror. I will credit some gruesome moments such a seeing the girl peel her hand off the safety rail on the ski lift after realising she had frost bite and was now actually stuck to the rail and a man being eaten by a pack of wolves while his bone stuck out of his leg. 

images from imdb.com